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“...The danger in holding so tightly to my claimed identity as an introvert was that I saw it as the primary shaper of who I was, more than I saw God in that role.”
About a decade ago, I read up on the descriptions of introverts and extroverts and exhaled a big sigh of relief. I finally had some concrete understanding and descriptions of why I as an introvert would literally feel energy sap out of me when I was in large groups, even groups comprised of people I love dearly. I finally understood why I felt so invigorated by one-on-one conversations but at the same time struggled to formulate and articulate my thoughts quickly, as my very busy inner thoughts searched for spoken words that I wanted to use sparingly. I latched on with great gusto to the identity of introvert because I felt it finally clarified and validated so much of who I was and why I functioned the way I did.
While identifying with the personality type of “introvert” has certainly provided me helpful insight in navigating social situations and budgeting personal energy reserves, it has also tripped me up in unexpected ways. I found myself thinking things such as, “It’s not natural for me to talk it up with people so I’m not going to try and get to know the other parents in my childrens’ classrooms. I’m an introvert!” “Of course I don’t have a natural inclination to host people at our home; I’m an introvert!” I found the introvert identity to be an easy crutch and even a justification for sin when I simply didn’t want to make sacrifices of time and energy for others.
Of course there is some wisdom in knowing our personal inclinations, strengths and limitations. It does give us an idea of how to steward our inner resources. But the danger in holding so tightly to my claimed identity as an introvert was that I saw it as the primary shaper of who I was, more than I saw God in that role. I saw it as the core dictator of what I could or could not do by way of serving God and serving others. It was not just a willingness issue, “I won’t do that because I’m an introvert” (excuse-making), but also a faith issue. I began to believe the lie, “This [introvert] is who I am, and even God’s grace is not sufficient to overcome the weaknesses of an introvert.”
As God has gently revealed my misplaced faith and the sins that have resulted from it, He has shown me how my core identity in Him ought to influence my perspective on my personality’s inclinations, strengths and weaknesses.
What I am learning is that I am a child of God who happens to have an introverted personality. He is my Creator, my Father, my King, my Lord, and my Source of strength. This is the glorious truth that informs my personality, not vice versa. Because of this truth, I can bring the tendencies, strengths and weaknesses of my personality and offer it all in worship to Him and in service to others.
Alina is a member of Cornerstone and serves the church as a servant minister.
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